16.9.06
to one i would type: haha.
to another i type the same thing as well.
yet who can distinguish a true 'haha' from the two. who would expect a sweet-looking apple to be poisoned. who knows if someone is swearing at you inside with that deceitful smile on his face. maoyang said i'm scary because i hide feelings under a mask of happiness.
maybe you can understand this. a chameleon is forced to change its colour to blend with the surroundings, so as to escape from people. it is afraid of them. it knows how humans would feed mice with nuts that are poisoned, or how they would use a bait to lure a hungry fish to doom.
日久见人心. how true. people flock to you when there's success. leave even faster when there isn't. and to achieve what they want, they can resort to whatever means possible even if they know they shouldn't do so. i've been keeping a list of people who i should write to after eoys. on the times had, the bonds forged. and this list only got shorter.
the definition of a friend. someone you know, love and trust. sometimes i wonder if i'm happy to finally be freed from 4I, though some real buddies will be missed. like an orchestra, a note played off-tune covers up the rest, not the other way round. but i'm really glad to have some friends that are always there for me. life isn't beautiful with hypocrites, but these friends are the reasons that kept me going. and it is to these friends that my smiles are sincere.
nevertheless 2 years with 4I is what we call fate. i wonder why i'm in 4I when my results were so lousy then. surely i know that if i were in a less competitive class there would be less hypocrites. but we were brought together and soon we'll all be on different tracks. big or small, good or not, everyone has made an impact in my life.
4I jiayou for eoys. i'm dead serious. since its only the results that matter.
i know. selfless is foolish. am i not self-centred? i am human. i harbour selfish thoughts, but i don't embody them in my actions.
--- |11:50 PM|
dennis
designer